I was sitting with my friend Sarah watching one of Jenny's friends chat it up with a cute boy across the bar when I realized that will never be me again. I'm 25 years old, and I'm embarking on the biggest commitment of my life - marriage. Never again will I attempt to get free drinks from cute boys. There will be no more random make-outs. (Yes, I did that. And it was fun!) What happened? Is this the point where I pinch myself and wake up from this crazy dream called life?
Don't get me wrong... I'm soooo happy to be marrying Andrew. It's truly hard to imagine him not being in my life. I think this is what Mallory's older and much wiser sister calls melancholy (although, after looking it up, I'm going to have to say nostalgia).
Oh, and don't think that this just applies to relationships. Here are a few other areas that are freaking me out/frustrating/sad: (list taken and adapted from wikipedia, don't judge)
- confronting one's own mortality and the mortality of others
- insecurity regarding present accomplishments
- re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
- nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life
- tendency to hold stronger opinions
- loss of closeness to high school and college friends
- financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living)
- desire to have children
- a sense that others are doing better than oneself
What's the solution? I don't know. Time, maybe? I just feel like I'm stuck in this really weird time in my life right now. I know it will pass and everything in that list will change. Until that time, Sarah and I, in our inhibited state, decided to go back in time and relive younger years by flashing someone?!?! I'm so glad we didn't do that.
Can I get a raise of hands for others who feel this way? Please tell me I'm not the only one.
You are *so* not the only one that feels, or has felt, this way! Even at my age (and no, I'm not disclosing how many years I have been on this planet), I could completely relate to everything on that list (except children - that's a story for another time). And, while you might think you are "freaking out", I see it as being in charge of your life. After all, we are all a work-in-progress, always in need of refining and growth! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know you're not alone. Sorry I'm just now responding; we finally got a working computer. I'm also glad we did not decide to flash anyone, lol. I find it funny we made it pact to do that!
ReplyDeletethe grass is always greener. when you look back at different times in your life it's easy to think of the good things and miss it. but don't forget there were definitely plenty of crappy things as well. do you honestly believe your life then was better than it is now?
ReplyDeleteif you spend too much time thinking about things that once were you'll miss out on enjoying things that are now. then in 10 years you'll be looking back on today wishing you could go back. so quit moping and go have fun.
(and besides you can still get free drinks from Andy and he's pretty cute)