I was sitting with my friend Sarah watching one of Jenny's friends chat it up with a cute boy across the bar when I realized that will never be me again. I'm 25 years old, and I'm embarking on the biggest commitment of my life - marriage. Never again will I attempt to get free drinks from cute boys. There will be no more random make-outs. (Yes, I did that. And it was fun!) What happened? Is this the point where I pinch myself and wake up from this crazy dream called life?
Don't get me wrong... I'm soooo happy to be marrying Andrew. It's truly hard to imagine him not being in my life. I think this is what Mallory's older and much wiser sister calls melancholy (although, after looking it up, I'm going to have to say nostalgia).
Oh, and don't think that this just applies to relationships. Here are a few other areas that are freaking me out/frustrating/sad: (list taken and adapted from wikipedia, don't judge)
- confronting one's own mortality and the mortality of others
- insecurity regarding present accomplishments
- re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
- nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life
- tendency to hold stronger opinions
- loss of closeness to high school and college friends
- financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living)
- desire to have children
- a sense that others are doing better than oneself
What's the solution? I don't know. Time, maybe? I just feel like I'm stuck in this really weird time in my life right now. I know it will pass and everything in that list will change. Until that time, Sarah and I, in our inhibited state, decided to go back in time and relive younger years by flashing someone?!?! I'm so glad we didn't do that.
Can I get a raise of hands for others who feel this way? Please tell me I'm not the only one.